There were two buddies one with a German Shepherd and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the German Shepherd says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The buddy with the German Shepherd says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the German Shepherd puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.

The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed".

The man with the German Shepherd says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The man at the door says, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua??? You mean to tell me, that they gave me a Chihuahua?!"

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Little Girl asked her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage."

Little Girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Sandy for a walk around the block. I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and that I should ask you."

Dad said, "Bring Sandy over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear with it and said, "Ok, you can go now, but keep Sandy on the leash and only go one time around the block." Little Girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Dad said, "Where's Sandy?"

Little Girl says, "Sandy ran out of gas about halfway down the block and there's another dog pushing her home."

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A man walked into a bar and immediately called out, "Who is the owner of that Saint Bernard tied up outside?"

A man replied, "It's mine. Why do you ask?"

The first man walked up to him and said, "I'm sorry, but my dog just killed your dog."

The owner of the Saint Bernard was shocked, "Are you kidding me?! That dog is huge! He's bigger than my car!"

The first guy explained, "Well, he choked on my Chihuahua"

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A lady wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in her tree. She looks in the phone book and finds a gorilla removal service. When she asks if they can remove the gorilla, the service guy asks, "is it a male or female?"

"male" she replies

"oh yeah, we can do it. I'll be right there." he states. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the woman some instructions. "I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls out of the tree. When he does, the trained chihuahua will go to bite the gorillas testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself, allowing you to handcuff him."

The woman asks, "what do i do with the shotgun?"

The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, shoot the chihuahua!"

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More Doggie Bars.....

Having traveled south of the border for shopping, I have seen many people return to the United States with us. I've seen a few strange sights but one is rather remarkable. It

happened a few months ago on our last shopping trip. As we stood in line we saw the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Here's what happened: The Taco Bell Chihuahua and a few of his canine stars took a trip to Tijuana. They went to a doggy bar and got a bit drunk. As they crossed back into the United States, the border guard stopped them. "Nationality" he said to Lassie.
"Aamerrricannn" slurred Lassie. The border guard waved Lassie through. The guard asked each of the other three Hollywood dog stars the same question and waved them each through. When it was time for the Taco Bell Chihuahua to pass, our little star showed the guard his green card while wobbling from side to side. The guard studied it carefully and asked some questions of the tipsy star.
The border guard was still suspicious so he said "I'll let you pass if you can use three words in a sentence."
"No problem, senor" our little star replied.
"Okay, use green, pink, and yellow in a sentence".
The Chihuahua thought for a moment then said "the phone, it goes green, green, green, I pink it up, and say yellow!"

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So Smooth....

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can be my friend."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."
The Collie says, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."
She says, "That's not creative."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."